Less Stress More Calm

Do You Have A Negative Attitude Towards Life, Work, Love Or All?

I try to write about personal experiences and blend them with the best books I have read. I have read hundreds of self development; philosophy and business books over the years and constantly incorporate their philosophies and teachings into my life. I especially enjoy books that have plenty of research or are scientifically based.

Lately I have been going through a few rough spots involving relatives in an accident (everyone is better now), challenges from my website business, a brand new laptop that just died, dreadful self made stress….you get the picture.

I read another book yesterday that has given me plenty of food for thought.  It is another positive psychology book called, “How full Is Your Bucket" However it is based on analysis of 10,000 business units and more than 30 industries. Here are a few statistics.

• The number 1 reason people leave their jobs is because they don’t feel appreciated.
• Bad bosses increase the risk of stroke by 33%.
• Negative employees can scare off customers – for good
• 9 of 10 people say they are more productive when they are around positive people.

Pretty straightforward stats but good reminders of the world around us.

After giving this book some thought, I’m no longer crabby, I slept great last night and once again I have a positive and hopeful outlook on life. Sometimes I need a nudge to get me in the right direction again.

I am much more positive. I am going to share it with everybody. I will strengthen my relationships with friends at work. I will give out of the blue. I will really try to understand how different people like to be appreciated.

Positive psychology is an extremely important future trend. It does have to be based on reality though and mistakes still have to be corrected. We are not living in la-la land.

But in the future, being positive and appreciative will have the greatest impact on our lives.

I’ve read this before in other books, I’m thankful I read it again.

You Don’t Have To Be Wealthy To Shop Like A Multi - Millionaire Or Eat Like Madonna.

One day I would love to own a beautiful home on the ocean. Every so often I log onto my favourite luxury real estate website and search for homes on the ocean. Because I only want the very best, I start my search for homes at 10 million dollars and up. If you want to have a breathtaking home on the ocean one day, start shopping here

One day I might like to have a yacht to escape from the ugliness of urban landscapes, ignorant people, bad news and tofu. I had a taste of the yachting life a few times in Bermuda, raced in a 31 foot sailboat in the Caribbean, and was tossed about the ocean in a 20 foot catamaran on the way to St Bart’s.  You can look at beautiful yachts here.

I came across an excellent soup that one of Madonna’s caterers makes. I love it. Her caterers name is Lulu Powers. With a name like that she has got to be real. If you like to have your taste buds experience the magnificent blend of Cayenne pepper and maple syrup in a soup, get the recipe here

Discover the 3 Crucial Elements That Guarantee Happiness

The results are in. After years of research, involving countless books, reading all the experts opinions, and doing my own pondering, here are 3 crucial elements of happiness.

You are happy with yourself.

I've read in countless books that self-esteem is a huge trait that seriously affects your happiness. A positive self-esteem provides you control and hope in life. A healthy self-esteem guards you against all kinds of negativity directed at you from family, friends or work mates. Being comfortable with who you are, what you have done, why and how, is paramount to happiness. A healthy ego is also certainly a huge factor towards business success. Its time to stop doubting yourself, rid yourself of negative thoughts, practise gratitude and wake up each morning knowing you are firmly in control of your happiness and life. Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in attitude.      

You have good friends.

What is a life without friends? When you think back to some of your happiest moments, more often than not you where sharing them with a friend. A good time with friends doesn’t require money or Ipods, or plasma televisions. All it requires is good conversation, laughter, a shoulder to lean on and shared dreams. True friends love us despite our faults. You never, ever forget your true friends.

You understand Mindfulness.

The most important slice of culture we can import from the East is the art of meditation. I can't say enough about how important this is. The present moment is the only moment. Mediation makes us more alive, aware and in touch with our conscious. Meditation and practising mindfulness makes each passing moment stand out. Mindfulness reduces the blur of trivial thoughts in our mind, and helps us appreciate the simple beauty of each passing moment. The world becomes remarkably real and you are able to scan your mind easily embracing or releasing all thoughts and feelings. Most importantly mindfulness brings you calmness, focus and peace. The world needs to let go of the information age and embrace the consciousness age.

In summary.

For people with healthy self-esteem the inner voice messages are always positive and reassuring.
      
“Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” Good friends are forever.


Practised mindfulness through mediation and make the world a more peaceful, giving and lovable home for you and all of us.

Always, Always, Always Believe In Yourself

If you give a person the opportunity to shine, they will shine. Some of these American Idol contestants are just regular folk, with regular jobs and have now been given a huge stage to pour out their talent. Chris Daughtry worked at a service desk, but onstage his singing talent spills out on us like a waterfall. Unchecked emotion and pure passion constantly flows out of the guy. Isn’t it amazing that these Idols are just like you and me? The difference is that they have been given an opportunity to showcase their talent.

We all have hidden talents. We all have life long dreams. Sometimes we catch ourselves dancing and singing in the mirror. Some of us love to paint or crack stupid jokes. Some of us ask ourselves, "What if?" We all have our passions. We all have our doubts. We all allow fear to invade our dreams. So take a cue from the Idols and realize that if they can do it, so can you. Never, ever give up on your dreams. Never believe that you aren’t good enough. Whether it's singing, dancing, acting, painting, or being the world's greatest business person, don't ever give up.

Take your talents and unleash them on the world. Unbridle your passion and let it set you free. Have you got some life goals? Right now might be a good time to start setting those life goals and realizing them. Life rewards action. You might even discover talents you never knew you had! It's time now. Time to start believing in yourself. Unleash those passions, inject yourself with a large dose of love and show the world what you can do.

You too can be the next American Idol.   

Gain More Control In Life The Fast And Simple Way

In a recent CNN article the average large company CEO earned $42,000 in one day. The average worker earned $41,861 in one year. Therefore the average worker made less in one year, than what the average CEO made in one day.  A CEO makes 262 times more than the average worker. Sorry, this is something that is very difficult for any individual to control.

1. Understand what you can or cannot control in life.

There is plenty you cannot control. You cannot control the global economy, taxes, the media, office politics, downsizing, the countries deficit, war, gas prices and CEO pay, to name a few. You can complain, moan, stress over or rant about all of these, or you can concentrate on what you can control.

2. What can you control in your life?

You can control your attitude. You can control your spending habits.  I can control whether the morning will be stressful or happy. You can control your focus on the job. You can control your own golf swing. You can control your weight. You can control your imagination and conscience. You can even control pressure at times by learning to thrive on it.

3. How do you constantly improve your life?

Very simply, understand what you really have control over in life and evaluate yourself on how well you are doing in these areas. Are you truly focusing on the key areas of your job? Are you eating healthy? Are you constantly using credit? Are you starting the morning with a good attitude? Are you going after your dreams? Take the time to create a checklist and honestly assess your performance in these areas. Maybe it is time to pursue your dreams, because no one is going to do it for you. You do have control over whether or not you pursue your dreams. Is it time?

In summary

1.  Understand what factors you cannot control and stop worrying about them. 
      
2.  Understand what you can control and start focusing.

3.  Assess your performance on the areas in your life you can control. Improve on them.

Gratitude Is One Of The Ultimate Secrets To Happiness

I don't think that happiness is about gaining material objects and wealth like our societies, advertising, and many corporations teach us.

I do believe, however, that our happiness and fulfillment is largely controlled by our perception of the world. Even our mood during the day affects it. Ever had a day where everything was going wrong and something happened to completely change your perception or mood? Perhaps you watched TV and realized how much better you have it then others. The devastation of Hurricane Katrina, in the USA, comes to mind. Perhaps your moment was just a simple unexpected act of kindness.

Suddenly you felt gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools in our mind's arsenal right now. The Institute of Heartmath has actually monitored how the heart reacts to both frustration and gratitude. During frustration the heart rhythm is erratic and jumpy. During gratitude the heart rhythm is even and regular. What does that tell you? We need to focus on what is good in our lives.

Gratitude is a form of love. Feeling gratitude and being appreciative is one of the keys to living a fulfilled life.

Action: List the major people, places and things in your life that give you a warm feeling of gratitude. Write them on an index card or even the body of an email. Place the index cards strategically and read them it regularly during the day. For the email one, leave it open and read it, every time you check your mail. Make this a life-long habit.

Action: Realize that if you can't repair, change, or avoid a bothersome situation or problem, just accept it and move on. You know what to do. You've done this before. Do it this time in the name of gratitude and your mind will rest on the good vibes that feeling thankful will bring.

It is time to change your way of thinking. It's time to think of ways to change.

So long until next time

Millionaire Wealth Building Is Not Rocket Science

 

 

I’ve always been intrigued by wealth in our North American society. I would like to share some of my core findings and get you on the way to becoming wealthy and fulfilled. First, a few questions.

Are your core values in line with most millionaires?
Are you setting wealth goals and tracking them honestly in order to substantially increase your net worth?
Who are you?  Is wealth part of your life equation?

What does it mean to be a fulfilled millionaire?

Pick up any newspaper and you’ll see there is plenty of news about millionaires. They seem to be proliferating like bunny rabbits. Each year the North American millionaire ranks grow. Let’s be crystal clear, being a millionaire means having a net worth of a million dollars. In accountant geek talk, this means having more assets then liabilities. Just because you live in a big house and drive a flashy car (with that pretty scarf around your neck) doesn’t necessarily mean you are a millionaire. Underneath all that chutzpah may be huge loans and the ever-mounting credit card debt. And don’t get me going about credit card debt – there’s another subject that has seen plenty of news coverage lately.

One of my favourite books is the well-researched “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley, PhD. He writes that most millionaires are normal folk, who don’t look, dress or eat or act like our North American perception of millionaires.

Here are a few research statistics quoted from “The Millionaire Next Door."

• “We live well below our means. We wear inexpensive suits and drive American-made cars. Only a minority of us drive the current-model-year automobile. Only a minority ever lease our motor vehicles.”

• “Most of our wives are planners and meticulous budgeters. In fact, only 18 percent of us disagreed with the statement, ‘Charity begins at home.’ Most of us will tell you that our wives are a lot more conservative with money than we are.”

• “We have more than six and one-half times the level of wealth of our nonmillionaire neighbours, but, in our neighbourhood, these nonmillionaires outnumber us better than three to one. Could it be that they have chosen to trade wealth for acquiring high-status material possessions?”

See the point? It isn’t about putting your high consumption lifestyle on display. It isn’t about trying to be Tiger Woods, Brad Pitt, Donald Trump or any other high flying celebrity. It’s about being thrifty, having more appreciable assets then debt, keeping a budget, investing, elbow grease and most importantly clearly understanding who you are, your core values, and instituting clear goals and habits.

What are a few core values most millionaires might have?

• Freedom: Freedom might mean worrying less about credit card debt -- or any debt, for that matter.
• Control: Control may mean understanding your financial situation and creating a budget.
• Wealth: Having a core value of wealth will continuously strengthen your millionaire thinking.
• Thrift: Thriftiness is staying away from buying that feeds your insecurities or dissatisfaction. Thrift means buying a used car instead of leasing that brand new fantasy car.
• Appreciation: A foundation for millionaire thinking. Appreciation isn’t about always buying what you love. It’s about loving what you have, including family and friends.

What are a few millionaire-thinking goals that you can begin to implement right now to get you on your way?

•   Create a household budget.

•   Track debts and pay them down by consolidating loans.

• Track expenses using software, such as an Excel spreadsheet or throw all  your receipts in a shoe box and add them up each month.

• Every time you are tempted buy something, honestly ask yourself whether  you really need it or want it. You’ll be surprised how many times you only want it.

•   Quit buying the latest gadget. Maybe you don’t really need a video Ipod.

If you’re already taking good care of your money, then it’s time to step it up to the next level.

•   Contact a financial planner and look at investments.
•   Start planning your own business.
•   Investigate how you can save on taxes.
•   Teach your children about accumulating wealth early, so they don’t beg for money later.

As you can see we all have different values, goals, habits, choices or needs.

One more statistic: CNN Money reported this year that there are 700,000 more millionaire households this year than in 2004. The growth is largely due to measured planning and active reinvestment.

It’s not rocket science, people.  Is there anything stopping you now?  Let’s get going.

Lead A More Meaningful, Peaceful And Happy Life

Even a relatively minor action, if undertaken with a conscious awareness of how imprints make us see an otherwise "neutral" or "empty" world as we do, will lead to tremendous results.

Why do you make knee jerk decisions? Why do you make bad choices? Why don’t you take the time to reflect on your life and start making some different choices? New goals? And ultimately, how do you control your mind so that you feel more objectivity, happiness and peace?

I’ve researched these complex questions for years and I’ve finally found an explanation that makes sense and has opened my eyes wide open. This way of explaining our minds, and ultimately whether we live our lives filled with peace and happiness comes from some of the most ancient and important Asian teachings.

Your mind records about sixty-five discrete images or imprints in the space of a finger snap. These imprints enter a place in your subconscious. All these imprints reside in your mind like a vast repository. Some stronger than others.

For example, money is a tool you use in life that has been imprinted over and over in your mind almost all your life. All these imprints have flowered over the years. Every action, thought or word has planted an imprint in your mind, which is the gate of our own awareness of ourselves. The strength of imprints in your mind also depends on your intentions, emotions, self-recognition...etc.

Your imprints determine what and how you perceive the world around you.

Say for example you have known someone for a while and you decide he or she is irritating. You have labelled them as irritating. You have been influenced by a history of your mind imprints to come to this conclusion. Some stronger than others. If this person reminds you of your irritating father and he yelled at you last night, this particular imprint is very strong. There could have been a host of different emotional past imprints that help you define this person as irritating. However, another person finds this person as wonderful, another finds this person compassionate. They have also had different imprints affecting them throughout their lives.

So let me try to fit all this in with the first paragraph of this entry.

If we become consciously aware of our imprints, and instead of seeing an irritating person we empty our mind of imprints, we will be able to see that person as a clean slate or objectively, and perhaps in time learn to like them. It is our perception and judgement supported by years of imprints that is fooling us. Once we see someone in the present and we use a neutral attitude towards them, we release the flood of potential past imprints that have formed our perception. Thus objectivity, understanding and perhaps compassion have a much better chance of emerging.

This theory applies to everything in life. You may think that a particularly rainy day is completely ruining your day. In grade two you fell off your bike during a storm and broke your leg, hence one of many, many imprints of rainy days, bad weather, dark clouds…. etc. But the rainy day is just that, a rainy day. Perhaps another person is gathering drinking water from this rain day and is incredibly happy. If you come to understand that the rainy day is not personally attacking you and look at it from an empty or neutral mind, a peaceful feeling will develop and the rain and ensuing rainbow will eventually look incredibly beautiful to you.

The more you become conscious of your imprints and the more you practise creating compassionate, loving and honest imprints, big or small, the more life rewards you with moments of peace and wonderful experiences.

The Happiness Recipe - Attitude, Memories, and Authentic Communication

I’ve done an enormous amount of research on happiness over the years and it is a subject I am continually fascinated by. Human beings are already such incredibly complex creatures. Add on the ever-evolving technological and materialistic age we live in, and happiness seems to become more and more elusive. So what can we do to create more bliss in our busy lives? Here are three happiness nuggets I’ve discovered over the years.

Build happy memories

On vacation a few years ago, we packed the kids into the car and drove down to Cape Cod. It was cold, wet and miserable. After a few days the sun broke through the rain clouds, and we headed off to the beach in Chatham. Far off in the distance, we saw a strange black mass. Rocks? What was it? We kept on walking. As we neared that big black mass, we discovered, much to our surprise, a huge group of over two hundred seals playfully lollygagging on a sandbar, one hundred feet in front of us! The kids fell madly in love with the cute, plump baby seals gazing at us with huge, moist brown eyes. We parked ourselves on the beach, sitting in awe of the wonderful scene, enjoying it for hours on end.

Do you think that the kids are happy when I bring up that memory? Absolutely! It lights up their faces (and mine) every time. Do they think about their discarded video games the same way? Heck, no! Memories like that last a lifetime. And it doesn’t have to be cute baby seals. How about a hike in the mountains? Or a trip to the zoo? Happy memories last a lifetime, “stuff “doesn’t.

A great attitude is only one thought away.

How many times have you asked someone at work, at the grocery store, or even friends, “How’s it going,” only to be met with a mumbled, “Not too bad”? I’ve come across plenty of unhappy people, especially in the service industry, to the point where I try to avoid any scowling, grumbling or just plain mean people who seem to be living their lives in a perpetual funk. But there’s a particular lady at my grocery store who always has a bright smile on her face, a cheery hello and will go the extra mile to happily clip out coupons for me! I always try to pass through her cash because she makes my day that much happier. She expresses herself in such an unabashedly joyful manner that I highly doubt she comes into work with that “It’s not going too bad” that we all hear time and time again.

Not going too bad?? That just saddens me. So, choose your mannerisms, body language and words carefully. How about “It’s going great”? Along with a great big smile, of course! You’ll have people doing a quick double take and maybe you’ll even pass your mood along to others. The power of attitude is simply amazing.

Old ladies in Italy probably don’t worship the Internet and have Ipods.

During a trip to Florence, Italy, I peered out my window one morning and was struck by a scene of older Italian ladies amicably chatting together. Adding to the charm was all the washed, white bed sheets flapping on clotheslines over the street – the sort of scene out of an old movie. These ladies certainly don’t sit in front of a computer and chat over the Internet! And that’s what’s scary about our supposedly technologically superior culture. It was supposed to bring us closer together. Remember global community and all that jazz? But has it brought us closer together?

We seem to spend more time hunkered down in front of computers or video games, oblivious to our neighbours in our cocoon of electronics and suburbia. Connecting with friends, neighbours and your kids can be deeply satisfying when all the technological clutter is pushed aside. And those connections are the most genuine and will probably be the happiest you have. Those Italian ladies were really enjoying their face-to-face time. Maybe it’s time for a little less e-mail and chat sites and a little more authentic communication in order to reconnect with our humanness. We’ll be that much happier for it.

Let’s make a little happiness recipe.

One brimming cup of ever lasting wonderful memories,
One packed cup of positive attitude,
One overflowing cup of authentic communication.

Mix well.

Makes many delightful servings.